I am the living proof! 

We Indonesian have so many secrets. We Indonesian are taught to keep our flaws in a dark place. Never share to anybody else, coz it’ll be an embarrassment. To you, your parents, your family. We don’t want to be the headline and make people turn their head and talking about us. 

We Indonesian are taught to always put on our masks. Stay on the stage, playing happy characters. And I spent my teenage years playing happy doll. I drowned myself in depression. Unable to talk to anybody, swallowing every bit of my mental sickness. 

Till I reached to the point of ending my life, not being afraid of dying, but scared that I’ll give an embarrassment to my mom and my family. Thinking that I was alone. Even death didn’t scare me. 

Now, thanks to God that we live in internet world. I am know in knowledge that I am not alone. I find a lot of people, similar as myself, sharing their life. Not Indonesian. 

I am coming out of my shell. Sharing what Indonesian find as a tabu, an embarrassment. I find myself being helped by people sharing their life and I want to be the blessing too. If even in the tiny lil bit part of your life, that I can give you any support you need, I am happy. 

You giving me your life, is a hero to me. You’ve been helping me. And I want to give back. If me, sharing my life could be a material for you to make fun of me and talk about me, I can’t stop you. 

I am not in control of how your mind works. But I am in full control of my mind. If God has giving me His blessings, I want to share to you. I am the living proof of God’s greatness. 

I want to show you, that you’re not alone. We are all in this together. Don’t get discouraged, coz I got your back, as you got mine. No matter how big your problem is, we have a bigger God. 

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