It’s so easy to fall into disappointments when we’re in a place that we thought we don’t belong to. We thought that this is not what I’m supposed to be doing, not what you wanted to do in life, not what you want to be.
Especially when you feel discouraged, underrated, undervalued, misunderstood, and all the wrongs we could’ve think of… We just thought that it isn’t fair. What have I done to be in such a miserable place?
I fall into this trap sometimes (well… often times), where I just couldn’t see any good in anything. I would’ve gone back thinking about the past, what I would’ve been doing right now instead of this, today.
I was so happy with my life, no burden, singing a lot, partying a lot, was having the best careers in my young life. Then suddenly I had to gave it up into something that I didn’t even want at that time. Not even thought about it. Not even in my plans.
Then I fell into the darkness of depression (again). Blaming myself, blaming my mom, blaming everybody, blaming God. Nothing was good at that time. I just wanted it to be over and I got back into my old happy self.
But that’s not how life is. Life goes on whether you wanted it to be the way you wanted or not. And I moved along with it. At good times, I can see why it happened, and start seeing everything fall into place like it supposed to be. But in hard times, I regret things A LOT. Wish that I could’ve done differently.
When I see my life in a way that how I didn’t want it, I kinda say that God makes mistakes or God is punishing me. Hard to see the good in anything when you don’t believe that God controls the universe.
God is in everything you do, every person you meet, every opportunity, closed doors, open doors, happiness, sadness, lost, EVERYTHING. There’s no such thing as luck or coincidence.
Yes we make our own choices and sometimes we don’t make a good one, but God has SO MANY OTHER WAYS to get you back on course. Coz He loves us. And in the journey of you coming back is often times a bumpy jumpy road.
That’s when we started to struggle then we started to complain and worries about things. And I worry a lot. My brain works like a roller coaster. Riding on a roller coaster might be fun for once but when you have to live on it, you puked a lot. You got sick and tired of rolling around passing the same road over and over again that you couldn’t even have control over it.
But this is how I overcome my ‘sickness’. When my head is straight, I’ve no problems seeing what’s good in my life. But when it’s not, I make sure that I have it straight by reading devotional, bible journaling, writes gratitude, read motivational and inspirational books, watch self helps videos on YouTube, etc.
If I don’t do it for myself, no one is going to do it for me. I need to stand up for myself and get everything good (in my perspective) so I can see and understand what God wants in my life.
God loves me. God wants me to reach the fullness of my destiny and I know that it’s good. God knows what I need and He will provide. God is going to smooth my journey, put everyone in place, and things will be lighter and simpler.
I just need to do my best, bloom where I am at, keep honoring God and put Him first. And I believe there’s going to be a supernatural Grace, a favor that lightens the load and takes the pressure off coz God is good.